When it comes to erotic zones, most of us immediately think of breasts, nipples, vagina in the case of women; penis and balls when it comes to men. There are plenty of other body parts that can bring an endless supply of pleasure when stimulated: the inner thigh, the ass, the stomach, and… the neck.
Yes, there is a kink out there for everyone, and neck fetish is far more common than you’d think. So if you think there is nothing sexier than a long, exposed neck, read on, especially if you’ve never given shape to your fetish before now.
What exactly is a fetish?
Before we talk about neck kissing, neck biting, neck nibbling and everything in between, let’s stop to discuss what a sexual fetish is.
Originally, the word describes an object that is assigned a perceived magical property which protects the person carrying it. It’s granted power when it originally didn’t have one.
This relates directly to the sexual fetish: a body part, object or situation that is granted erotic qualities, which aren’t linked to the reproductive act
Anything can be considered a fetish, making a list of fetishes impossible to define. The most common fetishes include the feet, and specific body features such as obesity, piercings, tattoos, and hair.
Please do remember: a fetish is not a disorder, unless it causes long or short-term distress unless experienced, and interferes with your life. For example, if you feel the need to sneak out and lie to your loved ones in order to fulfill it, ignoring responsibilities or being unable to carry on with your day without it.
Then you should consult a health professional, so you can enjoy your sexuality without being limited by this fixation.
Zeroing in on the kink at hand, neck fetishes are characterized by an intense desire surrounding that long, sensitive corridor between your head and your shoulders. It’s usually aimed at another person, though there are cases of self-erotization as well. More often than not, female necks are the object of such desires.
The neck is filled with nerve endings, so it’s no wonder this is one of the most common spots to kiss, lick and nibble during sex.
But how can you tell if you simply enjoy your lover’s fingers and lips running all over your neck, or you are experiencing a full-on fetish?
If you require to either have contact with or think about necks in order to achieve and maintain arousal, or to experience an orgasm, then you most likely than not have a neck fetish. The same goes if you need to receive neck stimulation in order to fully enjoy the experience.
However, if you simply enjoy it -or even really, really enjoy it!- but can do without it, then you’ve probably not found your kink here.
Why do people develop a neck fetish?
The neck is not only sensitive, but it’s also a known erogenous zone. There is a reason why that’s one of the recommended places to spray with perfume or cologne.
It’s also a vulnerable area: during sex, it often gets exposed, and it conveys trust and intimacy. This might be the primal desire behind caressing, kissing and even biting your lover’s neck, or on the contrary, experiencing that attention yourself.
Though a light touch is all that’s really needed to activate the nerve terminals rushing up and down your neck, there are people who enjoy playing rough. As long as you are mindful of the risks and everyone involved is safe, choking can often grant great pleasure to those with this kink, both because of the power experienced by the dominant party as the adrenaline rush the submissive feels when oxygen levels decrease.
How to kiss someone’s neck and make them wild with pleasure? Are there any other ways to explore my neck fetish?
If you have a neck fetish, you must already know how enticing kissing it -or getting it kissed!- can be.
Depending on your lover, a gentler or rougher touch could be best. Tender, loving kisses while your bodies intertwine and move in tandem can create a loving, romantic and sensual experience for both of you, while hard, passionate kisses will turn up the fire in a second.
But why limit yourself to kisses? Necks can be caressed, groped, massaged, nibbled at, even squeezed. The key words here are consent and safety: as long as no one gets hurt and everyone is on board, go for it!
Sleeping in their lovers’ arms and hiding their faces just above their shoulder can offer great comfort and arousal to people with neck fetishes.
Jewelry and other materials such as lace, silk and leather can be placed around necks in order to highlight them, bringing attention to the object of your desire.
Something else you might want to keep in mind is how responsive the human neck is, not only to the touch, but also to pain and changes in temperature. If you identify as a masochist -achieving pleasure through receiving pain- or a sadist -achieving pleasure through inflicting pain to another-, these two kinks can easily be merged. Wrapping your hands or a long piece of fabric around your lover’s neck can be a greatly erotic experience as long as everyone remains mindful of limits that should not be crossed. Being a risky activity, is key to inform yourself and be alert to signs of distress when engaging in anything related to restraining the flow of oxygen.
Dropping wax, using ice or applying scented massage oils on the neck can also be a fun addition to your sex life. Switching from cold to hot -or the other way around- can have your lover trembling with pleasure and begging for more in no time.
What else should I keep in mind?
When it comes to neck play, except for milder and gentler touches, it’s always a good idea to be mindful of risks.
There is a reason the neck is such a sensitive body part. It’s filled with veins and arteries, which are relatively close to the surface. It’s also a central part of your digestive and respiratory systems. The trachea is incredibly delicate, and any rough pressure can harm it, and lack of oxygen is life threatening.
So if you’re going to engage in rough play when being on the receiving or giving end of neck stimulation, be mindful of the potential consequences. You should inform yourself of the risks, signs of potential trouble and even how to act in a case of an emergency. Never go past the limit you know to be safe, and don’t ignore your partner’s safe word if uttered. If you are the submissive partner in this scenario, alert your lover of any distress you might be in.
When playing with temperature, the above recommendations also apply. Friction, ice or regular burns can occur when safety measures are not taken into account.
If you’re into biting, the risks are usually low. Just avoid breaking skin, and know your partner’s limits. A bit of pain can be fun and exciting, but hurting your lover isn’t. Our recommendation? Start slow: kiss their necks gently at first, then suck at it a bit harder. Brush your teeth over their long, sensual neck, exhaling softly in the process. And then -only then- bite down hard. The intensity of these two alternating touches will drive your partner wild with pleasure!