We all like feeling appreciated, being praised. It not only gives us a -sometimes incredibly necessary- boost to our confidence, but also makes us feel loved and protected.
However, if the feeling you get from praises is stronger than just a warmth in your stomach or a smile on your face, then you might have a praise kink. It’s a nurturing and beautiful fetish to have, so it most likely than not will lead to romantic, pleasant experiences. Let’s explore this concept further together.
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What exactly is a kink or fetish?
Before going down the rabbit hole, it’s better to start at the surface. So, what is a kink, and what’s the difference between it and any old sexual preference?
If you search for the original definition, this word is used to describe an object someone believes has magical or mystical powers, granting protection or strength to the person who possesses it.
It’s an item that’s used for any other purpose but is instead viewed as something that brings luck or any other positive attributes the owner grants it.
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So how does this connect to a sexual fetish? We grant not magical properties but rather erotizise either an object, a situation, a body part or an act that isn’t originally connected to reproductive needs.
You’d be surprised by what people can fetishise: feet, hands, neck, balloons, humiliation, clowns. The list goes on and on.
Most fetishes aren’t actual disorders. If you can go without that experience, and it doesn’t interfere with your life, then go for it! If you feel like the need to satisfy that craving keeps you away from your loved ones, your work, or you hide from others in your pursuit of it, then it’s a good idea to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist.
In this case, the object of a person’s desire is not a thing, but an attitude, a way of acting or being treated. Being aroused by someone else’s praises, or even receiving said kind words, can be a powerful and intimate experience. It’s also a sign of a wonderfully romantic relationship.
It’s always nice to receive compliments, as well as to give them, so if this is what you’re into, be glad your kink is one of the most benevolent and tender ones out there. You can be gentle with your lover while at the same time getting exactly what you need to reach that coveted orgasm.
How can you develop a praise kink?
The answer to this question is incredibly tricky. Therapists, sex experts and other health professionals can’t really pin point how or even when kinks are born. There are a myriad of reasons a person can develop one, and all we can do is talk about a few theories that have been discussed over the decades.
Kinks have been known to appear as a consequence to either a trauma or an emotionally charged moment of our lives. For instance, if your father was absent or overbearing, you might have daddy issues, which are linked to submission, impact play and other sorts of kinks where authority and discipline are the key words.
In the case of praise kink, there might have been a lack, or an excess, of praises in your formative years. It appeals to a primal need to be taken care of, of being nurtured and cherished. Of feeling special.
In a way, it’s going back to that place when we needed someone to protect us, and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and open to kind words.
Praise kink examples
Without a doubt, the praise kink can be easily connected to the BDSM scene. Sure, most people usually think of BDSM as linked to rough sex, degradation and pain, but that’s hardly the case.
A dominant-submissive relationship can be loving and even tender, with the dominant part taking the role of a ‘caretaker’ or personal motivator. Being called a good girl or a good boy isn’t just something nice to experience during sex, but deeply and intimately arousing.
More vanilla relationships can also incorporate this kink without too much trouble, as it’s mostly about making your partner feel special if you’re into giving praises, or having your lover make you feel special, if you’re into receiving them.
What’s vital is that you communicate your needs and preferences to your partner so you’re both on the same page. As this is not a potentially violent kink, there isn’t really any need for safe words.
Some examples of praise phrases:
- You’re so talented, you’re so good at what you’re doing (replace this with whatever they are doing, for instance giving you oral sex)
- I love how sexy you are when you’re on your knees/when you are lying that way
- That feels so good, don’t stop
- Your (insert body part) looks so sexy today/when you wear those clothes/underwear
- I’m proud of you
- You’re so beautiful/handsome
- You are special/unique
- (Insert a quality, like the way they smile, their hair, body, eyes, how they laugh, etc) is one of the reasons I love you so much
- I desire you
- You’re so good at (whatever they are doing)
- Be my good girl or boy and do (whatever you want them to do)
Of course these are merely a few examples. You know your partner better than us, and you’ll know what praises really hit home. If you’re not sure which ones would work best, just begin with these phrases and then alter them as you see fit, depending on your lover’s reaction.
Now, don’t forget that praises don’t only have to be verbal! You can shower your partner or get showered with physical praises. What is that like?
For instance, caressing their cheek, hair or back, giving them a reassuring squeeze to let them know they’re doing well, or even lavishing them with kisses.
If you mix both verbal and non-verbal praises, the results can be absolutely enthralling for both of you, so don’t be scared to try new things until you find what works best in your relationship.
And do remember to express how good your lover’s touch feels like. If you’re aroused, or experiencing pleasure, then show it! Moaning, gasping, calling out their name, thrusting your hips against their bodies and grabbing at the sheets around you is also a sort of praise, and can enhance their pleasure in new and exciting ways.
And if you’re into BDSM either as a submissive or dominant and want to incorporate praises into your repertoire, there are certainly other examples that can be useful:
- Giving (or receiving) a collar or accessory that symbolizes the power dynamics between you and your lover. This makes it clear that the dominant is proud of his or her submissive.
- Telling them they are your perfect girl, boy, toy, pet, whatever works best for your relationship
- Having them praise themselves, especially if the submissive party suffers from low self-esteem
- Reassuring them they can take it, that they can go faster/slower/harder/etc
- Use a nickname that allows the dominant to praise the submissive every time they say it, such as: little girl or little boy, cute, kitten, sexy, love, or if you’re into more extreme BDSM, you can also choose a word of endearment like slut or whore. It might sound like an insult, but when used properly (such as calling them your perfect whore), the submissive will feel special and validated.
Do remember that it’s important your praise feels natural and genuine. If you just make up compliments that don’t relate to your partner at all, it’ll probably not have the desired effect.
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Can a woman want to bang you, even if she hates you?
By far, the biggest mistake men make when they want to make a woman wet…
Is thinking that LUSTING FOR YOU somehow comes from LIKING you.
But nothing could be further from the truth.
You see, whether or not a girl ‘likes’ you and approves of you…
Has nothing to do with whether or not she wants to wrap her legs around you and draw you deep inside her.
In fact…
Women are more likely to fantasize about getting bent over and ravaged by a guy they don’t particularly “like” in the traditional sense.
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That’s because LUST and LIKING exist in different areas of her brain…
“Liking” is generated in the rational, logical part of the brain…
And lust is activated in the deeper, more primal, animal part of the brain…
The good news is…
That a woman’s primal, animal brain is much more powerful than her logical, reasonable one…
And guys who know how to activate it…
Have an insane amount of choice with women..
Here’s how to activate the LUST part of her brain
When you think about it, we men aren’t that different:
I’m sure there’s been a girl you didn’t particularly “like” or connect with…
But you wouldn’t hesitate to slide into bed with her and tear her panties off.
The main difference between men’s and women’s brains…
Is where a man’s primal lust is triggered by a woman’s physical appearance…
A woman’s primal lust is triggered by the signals his body language gives off…
That’s why carrying yourself a certain way will make a woman squirm in her seat…
It’ll make her want to reach down and start touching herself…
And she’ll be picturing your face as she crests over…
Learn how it’s done in this short, instructional video:
Load Boost is a carefully formulated blend of high-quality, natural active ingredients including Pygeum, Zinc, Lecithin, Bromelain, L-Arginine, and other scientifically-backed ingredients for sex.
Not only is it formulated to increase semen volume, improve semen taste, and make orgasms feel better, it’s also packed with ingredients that improve prostate health and function.