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I Ghosted Her and I Want Her Back

So many men come to me and say with desperation, “I ghosted her and I want her back.” If this is an issue that you are facing, there are a few things that you can do to help make the situation better.

Unfortunately, as Beyond Ages points out, in the digital and virtual age of dating, ghosting someone or being ghosted has become a common thing. It is quite easy for someone to suddenly stop answering texts or responding to calls without realizing how horrible this can make the other person feel.

If you have ghosted a woman, you will need to consider a few things before you can even hope to reconnect with her. Here are some things to think about:

Why Did You Ghost Her?

Asking yourself why you ghosted her in the first place is an important step to take before trying to reconnect. Were you simply too busy to answer her calls or texts? Was there someone else that you were more interested in at the time? Did you intentionally ghost her, or was it something that you truly didn’t mean to do?

There are a couple of reasons that you should examine why you ghosted her before you move forward with trying to fix it. First of all, I can guarantee you that she’s asked herself many times why you ghosted her. She may blame herself and wonder what she did wrong. She may wonder if something happened to you.

If you do decide to send her a message or give her a call, she is likely going to want the answer to that question. Instead of trying to come up with an excuse on the fly, it would be better if you have already found the answer within yourself as to why you ghosted her. Then you can be upfront and honest when she asks.

I Ghosted Her and She Didn’t Care

What could be worse than her being upset with you for ghosting her would be if you realized, “I ghosted her and she didn’t care.” It can sometimes be very damaging to a person’s ego to realize that someone didn’t even seem to care if they disappeared. We all want to be liked, after all.

If you ghosted her and she didn’t even seem to care, it can also make it more difficult to try and reconnect. It is easy to hook back up with someone if they are trying to contact you, but it is a bit more difficult to swallow your pride and message someone who hasn’t even tried to reach you after you ghosted them.

One thing to keep in mind if you find yourself asking, “Why doesn’t she care that I ghosted her?” is that perhaps she actually does. Some women can be really hurt when a guy ghosts them and will fight hard not to let it show. She may not have an outward reaction to your ghosting, but chances are, she feels it inside.

Why would she hide it? There could be several reasons. Many women have abandonment issues and can totally shut down when someone reopens those wounds. This is something you should seriously consider before ghosting someone. Otherwise, you could harm them emotionally and then lose any chance of them ever wanting you back, since they never want to risk feeling that again.

She may also hide it simply because she is an independent woman and does not allow herself to deeply connect with someone until they have proven to her that they aren’t going anywhere. With this type of woman, reconnection could be even harder because it is quite possible that she truly didn’t let herself care when you vanished.

I Regret Ghosting Her

Chances are, if you are reading this article, you have already thought to yourself, “I regret ghosting her.” If that is the case, then you have a few things to figure out for yourself. As already mentioned, you need to explore why you ghosted her in the first place, but that isn’t the only question that you should ask yourself.

You also need to examine why you regret doing so. If you ghosted her simply because someone else came along, then are you wanting to reconnect just because you’re lonely now? If that is what you are feeling, then you could just end up ghosting her again if you meet someone else, and that really isn’t fair to her.

You might also regret ghosting her if you’re bored. As Ghosting Help points out, this should never be a reason to contact someone that you have ghosted in the past. She isn’t a pastime for you to use until the next exciting thing comes, she is a person who should be respected and cared for.

You Can’t “Un-ghost” Someone

As you face the realization, “I ghosted her and I want her back,” you will have to accept a few things. First of all, if she seemed not to care that you’ve ghosted her, it could be that she isn’t even available anymore. She might have moved on and found someone who didn’t leave her in the dust. It is a good idea to find out if this is true before pursuing her.

If you find that she is still single, that still doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be forgiven. In fact, forgiveness from someone that you’ve ghosted shouldn’t even be an expectation. It is totally her choice whether or not to give you a second chance.

Once you understand why you ghosted her, decide that you actually do want her back, and check to see if she is still single, then you can attempt reconnecting with her. You will need to understand that you cannot just go back to the place that you were before with her.

If you are lucky enough to get another chance with her, you will have to earn her trust back. If that happens, no matter what, my advice would be: don’t ever ghost her again!